Along Came a Spyder - Spyder Darling Welcome my angel babes and devil dudes to a very special Mother's Day edition of our monthly pet together. This is your unrelenting Uncle Spyder here to once again lead you on a raunchy roundup of what's been going down in New York Wasteland since our last high voltage visit. We've got a mother load of guts to spill. So kick back, relax and start to swill! For a month that traditionally represents rebirth and the release of winter's death like grip, mother-nature sure had an unearthly way of showing it in April. Firstly, Alice In Chains singer Layne Staley died of a drug related misadventure in Seattle and took his place beside Kurt Cobain and a number of other notable Northwest grunge enthusiasts who couldn't wait to get to "Nirvana." And yet Eddie Veder still hasn't taken the hint... Honorable mention however goes to Creed singer Scott Stapp who at least tried to show Eddie how it's done when his Cadillac was rear ended at high speed on a Florida interstate. The accident, while not fatal did at least take Creed and their watered down Pearl Jam impersonation off the road for a few blessed months. Ironically, Stapp was on his way to the video shoot for "One Last Breath" at the time... Former XXX-actress turned anti-porn crusader Linda Lovelace, best known for her oratory performance in Deep Throat, died from car crash related complications. That sucks... TLC diva Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes blinked bye-bye to the world, also the result of an auto accident. Sympathies to the Lopes family and congratulations to Left Eye's long suffering love interest Andre "Bad Moon" Rison on the reduction of his fire insurance... Locally, April marked the 11th anniversary of the death of New York Dolls junkie guitar superstar Johnny Thunders. And it was also a year ago now that Ramones singer Joey Ramone blitzkrieg bopped into rock'n roll heaven. With Sid Vicious on bass and Dolls/Heartbreakers' Jerry Nolan on drums they've got a Hell of a band up there. At least I hope it's "up" there... On the livelier side of the great beyond, Continental hosted a couple gigs last month that were worth writing home to mother about. Missing a Waldos gig is like missing church and considering singer/guitarist Walter Lure's somewhat scandalous reputation, the seminary simile is almost too accurate. Rev. Walter and his Chinese rocking altar boys ripped through their usual set of love songs, drugs, drug songs and tunes written by dead ex-band-mates including One Track Mind, Born To Lose and a rarely performed cover of Personality Crisis. Following the Waldos into the wee hours of Saturday night was Cincinnati Ohio's MFU (Martians From Uranus), featuring original NY Dolls/Brats/Corpse Grinders guitarist Rick Rivets on guitar. Despite the late-late hour Rivets, frontman/bassist Scott McIntosh and co. held fast and loud from the opening riff of Pipeline, through originals You're The One and Young Jack and an eclectic, eclectic cover of Jim Stafford's '70s AM radio classic Spiders and Snakes. MFU are currently finishing their new CD at Coyote Studios and will hopefully be back soon at an hour that even people who aren't on crystal-meth can enjoy. Bombshell, one of NYC's ten best bands, blew back into Continental last month were the best I've seen them yet. Foxy front femme Jinx, guitarist Phil, bassist Heidi and drummer Dan show included nasty new songs Six Feet Under and Sex, Drugs, Rock alongside smoking set staples In My Soul, Beautiful and Misery. Closing with their metallic medley of Black Sabbath's Children Of The Grave that somehow segues seamlessly into Blondie's Call Me. To paraphrase Like It one of Jinx and the boy's originals that didn't make it into the night's list, there's one thing I don't like about Bombshell and that's nothing. Praise Lemmy! For all you beer drinking, hell raising, hearing impaired mothers out there, Motorhead have just released Hammered, their 120th album in their approx 200 year history. And like the 119 records before it, Lemmy, Phil and Mickey plunder ear drums and pillage brain cells with the chainsaw subtlety that titles like No Remorse, Serial Killer and Kill The World imply. WWF fanatics will be thrilled to see Triple H's entrance theme The Game included as well. Motorhead will be on tour through the end of 2002 and if their livers and trousers hold out, for many mother lovin' years to come. Hoochie Mama! April was also a mad month for CD releases from group's far and near to my rock'n roll heart. Ex-Road Vulture Kevin K sent a copy of his new disc "The Story Of My Life" eleven tracks of broken heart on the sleeve rock'n roll from an expatriate New Yorker who still plays it like it is. The chunkiest chapter on Kevin's latest audio biography "Should Have Known Better" stands out with the kind of stick in your head like a harpoon groove that Joan Jett used to rock to the top of the charts. While the closing cut, a cover of the MC-5's Ramblin' Rose, is a trebly tribute to Kevin's raunchy rocking roots. To start your hard day's night with a serving of special K click on over to www.sucksexrecords.com. Though hailing from Austin, the Sons Of Hercules play the kind of high speed garage punk that would seem more at home on St. Marks Place than in the Lone Star State. Vocalist Frank Puglise howls more like David Johansen than the NY Dolls former frontman has in twenty years. Ex-Splat Cats and Jacklords bassist Casino El Camino keeps the bottom line pumping til you just can't pump no more. Titles like Hard Headed Woman, Trainwreck and Digging Your Own Grave say it all. Don't look for any Willie Nelson cover's from these Texas rangers. Look for them on Supernova records or contact the Sons on at 512 626-6371 instead. What's more American than baseball strikes, McDonalds superheated apple pie and Mother's Day (May 12 ya ungrateful bastard)? So, if you're searching a gift to give dear ol' mum that you can enjoy yourself when ya come to pick up your laundry, might I suggest "Why We Rule! 101 Reasons To Love Our Country." (Harper Collins Entertainment). Rob Cohen & David Wollock who last year penned "Etiquette For Outlaws" a guide for the aspiring gambler, porn star and graffiti artist in us all, have assembled in the wake of the WTC attack a brazen, unashamed page turning celebration of all things American. From our Constitutional Freedoms to Evel Knievel. The WWF to Andy Warhol. If it's helped make the US great, then the odds are it's in Why We Rule's 223 pages. Conveniently, it's formatted in very bathroom friendly two or three page chapters which will give you something to read when you've liberated the medicine cabinet of "mother's little helpers." Ok, my cheeky cherubs and deviant demons. To quote the great Noddy Holder, I think it's safe to say that "Mama We're All Crazy Now." So don't forget to give the ol' girl a call, a card or maybe even a knock on the door. Assuming it doesn't violate any restraining orders. Oh yeah and don't forget to take a moment of silence on Memorial Day in honor of the brave soldiers who've given their lives so that we can have a nice three day weekend to start the summer. A damned deal, I'd say. So, til next month this is Spyder Darling saying I'll see you at the bar and if I don't see you it's only because I'm under it. So ladies have a heart and leave those lovely legs apart. BACK TO HOME